Ginny Weasley (rebellious_red) wrote in secretdoorway,
Ginny Weasley
rebellious_red
secretdoorway

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Tag to Harry

It was their first Quidditch practice after the break, and Ginny felt as if she'd never sit properly again, they'd been on their brooms so long. She was exhausted and sweaty and wet through from the cold, but as she slid off her broom and helped put the Quaffles away, she decided that she had to talk to Harry, regardless.

She didn't know what else to do. It'd been over a week since she'd seen Remus. He hadn't owled her or tried to contact her during that time, and she hadn't seen him in the dining hall either. Ginny had begun to wonder if he was avoiding her, if she'd done something to displease him. Their night together had been...perfect really, and she couldn't imagine what could've happened between then and now to have Remus avoiding her like this. But Harry... he always seemed to know. She didn't want to make a fool of herself by showing up at Remus's door wondering what was going on, so maybe Harry could clear some things up for her. Surely he'd seen Remus since Christmas.

"Harry!" she called out, trying to catch him before he made it to the broomshed to store their equipment. "Harry, wait up!"
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Harry was glad with how the practice had turned out. It may have been long, and the entire team may have been whining at him because of the workout they'd been put through... but all in all it had been good for them to not only get the fresh air, but practice as a team for a long period of time.

He'd been making his way to the broomshed, arms full of materials when he heard his name. His head turned, and he smiled brightly at the redhead that approached. He'd been smiling more and more lately. It was probably satarting to scare people after he'd looked so gloomy for so long.

"Hey Gin," he greeted happily.
"Hey," Ginny said, slightly out of breath from the long practice and running to catch up with Harry. "Er, need some help with that?" she asked, nodding toward the equipment Harry was juggling. "I um...know this probably isn't a good time for you, but I really need to talk to you and you're never around the common room anymore so I thought maybe, if it's okay...?"

She took a few of the extra brooms from him and gave him a weak smile.
"It's not a bad time at all," Harry assured with a smile, making his way into the shed. "So long as you don't mind helping me put this stuff away, we can tlak all you'd like."
"No problem," Ginny said, following him carefully to avoid tripping. Falling onto a rack of broomsticks and balls that attacked people was not her idea of fun. She began putting things away, unsure about how to ask Harry about Remus. She felt silly, asking Harry when she should just find Remus and ask him herself, but she had this feeling... like seeking him out might be a bad idea, especially since he'd been avoiding her.

"Er. Well." Ginny paused to clear her throat. "It's just... have you seen Remus lately?" she blurted. "Because I haven't, not since Christmas, and I'm starting to get worried."
It hadn't even occured to Harry about Ginny and Remus until that very second, when he stopped dead. Ginny. Ginny and Remus. And right at that very moment, Sirius was down, likely curled up in Remus's bed.

Fuck.

"Ah... Ginny... I think there's something I need to tell you..."
Ginny paused, standing stock still with a broom clutched tightly in her hands, a cold feeling a dread rushing through her as if she'd just stepped through a ghost. Harry's tone... he sounded almost guilty about something.

Ginny swallowed and turned to face him, biting her lip in nervousness. "What is it, Harry?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Is something wrong? Was it the full moon? He's not... he's okay, isn't he?"
"What? No! Ginny, he's fine. It's okay. He's just fine. He's just been busy lately." Busy with things that meant that Harry har just probably ruined Ginny's life.

"When I was in the hospital wing for that week... It was because I'd been down in one of the defence classrooms. Something happened, Ginny... and somehow... Sirius came back..."
Harry's voice seemed to echo in Ginny's head as if he had shouted the name in the close space of the broomshed rather than spoken it quietly. Sirius...Sirius came back. Ginny's eyes fluttered and the shed seemed to spin around her, Harry a blurry shape in the distance. For a moment, she thought she might be ill. Her stomach cramped up, twisting with emotions she couldn't even think to process and she fell to her knees, broom clattering to the floor. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared up at Harry without really seeing him.

"Sir..Sirius?" she whispered. "I...it can't. Can't be. I don't understand." She swallowed, feleing her throat tighten painfully. "Harry?"
"Ginny?" Harry asked when Ginny seemed to waver on his feet. "Ginny!" he exclaimed when she fell to her knees, dropping down next to her and taking her by the shoulders. "Ginny... Come on... It's okay..."

He pulled her closer, into his arms. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I don't know how it happened... but he just... came out of the mirror...."
Ginny knelt stiffly in the circle of Harry's arms, feeling as if she weren't even there at all. She could hear Harry talking to her, saying her name, but the words didn't really register.

Sirius was back.

She didn't know how or why, but what she did know left her feeling numb and chilled to the bone. Sirius was back, and Remus has barely left his room since Christmas. He'd been avoiding her for over a week, and this... Sirius... has to be the reason. And Harry... he was probably overjoyed by the whole thing. Remus too. And none of them had bothered to think about her. To wonder...

Everything he'd told her was a lie. Remus had said that he cared about her, wanted to be with her. That she made him happy. But clearly she wasn't enough, just as she had always suspected. The moment Sirius returned, he'd forgotten all about her.

Tears spilled from her eyes in salty streaks and she began to shiver. She felt so cold.
"I'm so sorry, Ginny," Harry whispered, stroking through her hair. Soflty he brushed her tears away, gazing down at the shaking girl in his arms.

"I guarantee he hasn't forgotten about you. And he would've come to see you sooner if he could. Sirius... doesn't remember anything about the past two years. He thinks that he fell through the veil about two minutes before he came back out. Remus has had his hands full trying to catch him up..."
At the feel of his fingers in her hair, brushing against her cheek, Ginny sobbed and jerked away from him, scrambling blindly to her feet.

She felt disconnected somehow, like she was watching herself from a long distance away, dispassionately observing this strange girl who seemed to be in so much pain.

"Don't," she whispered, backing away from him as far as she could. "Don't touch me. I can't..." she turned her back on him her hands covering her face. She hates anyone seeing her like this, so out of control. All she could think of was that she needed to get Harry out of the broomshed before she really lost it. She couldn't bear for him to see her like this, so vulnerable and just... lost.

"Go away, Harry. Just leave me alone!" she said, her voice breaking on a sob. "Just go!"
"I will not leave you like this," Harry replied. Ginny could pound on him, or hex him, or do whatever the hell that he wanted, but he wasn't about to leave her alone. Not his friend... certainly not someone he'd known and cared about as long as he had.

Especially since this was all his fault, making Harry feel all the worse about it.
Ginny didn't respond, just crouched down in the corner, wrapping her arms around her knees, her eyes clenched shut tightly as she rocked herself back and forth. She sobbed hoarsely, her body shaking as she tried to breathe, tried to gather herself. She couldn't make sense of anything. The world felt backwards to her somehow, as if it had been suddenly flipped inside out. A few days ago she had been happier than she'd ever been. And she'd thought that maybe... maybe this thing with Remus was real, and for the first time she might actually be able to love someone.

Stupid, Ginny, a voice whispered in her mind. Did you honestly believe he could ever love you?

"No," she whispered aloud, having almost completely forgot about Harry.

It's your fault, Ginny, she thought cynically, throat aching from crying. You can never be good enough. You can never be good at all, and he knew. He could sense it.

"That's not true," Ginny whispered. "I can be. I can. I'm good."